It has been one month since my dad died. The reality of it still is settling. I don't think that the reality of it will ever really settle in me. Why? How could something so real be so hard to grasp? How could an unavoidable reality seem unreal? I am not really sure. But, I think this movie may partly explain it.
In my opinion, "The Royal Tenenbaums" is Wes Anderson's finest film. The reason I feel this way is that I feel that this film digs into some deep issues, depicts a vast array of human emotion and experiences, and tells its story better than any of his other films. Along the way, we see the touching story of a father's journey to redemption. We can see in this story that fathers, whether they are good or bad, present or absent, are indeed connected to us. There are, I suppose, certain exceptions to this. But the reason this film works so well is how universal its story is, however much or little the viewer relates directly to what is on the screen.
Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) is the patriarch of the Tenenbaum family. The family lives in New York in a nondescript neighborhood. His wife Ethyl (Angelica Huston) and 3 children Chaz (Ben Stiller), Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Richie (Luke Wilson) soon becomes estranged with him. He shows himself to be an insensitive and overly critical father. His children all turn out to be prodigies, but instead of encouraging them in their work, he criticizes them. As his infidelities unravel his marriage, he ends up leaving their home and taking up residence in a nearby hotel. As the years go by, it becomes clear to Royal that he must find a way to rebuild the relationships he has with his family, particularly with his 3 children. He makes up a story about having cancer in order to have an excuse to reboot their relationships. His son Chaz is particularly hostile to him, but all of the kids exhibit behaviors that are the wreckage that he has left in his wake as a miserable father.
Royal begins to realize that he has been a major source of pain to his children and his wife. This is made more real to him when his wife (they never divorced) begins to court a new man (Danny Glover), and he feels jealous. He is also very interested in getting to know his two grandsons. At the same time, the grandsons' father Chaz is desperate to keep his sons from getting hurt by the man who was the source of so much pain to him. Chaz is living a life of deep paranoia, as his wife has recently died in a plane crash. As Royal begins to get to know his grandsons, it is clear the Chaz is grappling with his relationship with his father. His son Richie is dealing with being in love with his sister Margot. This is made possible by the fact that Royal always made it clear to everyone that Margot was adopted. Richie's life has been marred by the pain of his love for Margot, and the inability to live up to his father's standards, even though Richie is clearly his father's favorite child. Margot is living a life of depression. She spend most of her hours in the bath watching movies. They are forced to deal with each other once again as Royal fakes cancer and Ethyl gets engaged.
All of the typical Wes Anderson eccentricities are on display. He brings deep thought to each shot in the film, and to each set. His quick cuts which seem like non sequiturs often get huge laughs, and there are several here. My favorite is the scene in which it is explained that Royal has taken his grandsons out for some fun, and then it quickly cuts to the three of them watching a dog fight. Royal is truly a rascal, and even when he is trying to be tender, he still comes across that way. Witness also his trip to the cemetery to visit his mother's grave. While on the visit, Chaz reminds him that his wife is also buried there, to which Royal replies, "Oh yeah, I forgot we have another body buried here." So tender.
Now, you may be wondering why I feel any of this relates to my dad. For those of you who don't know me, I had a wonderful relationship with my father all the way to the end. We loved discussions, baseball, music, and many other things. So why does this movie help explain the fact that my dad's death seems surreal? It is because no matter what kind of parent you have, they are such a part of you that when they die, it is almost as though part of you has died as well. In this film, the impact that Royal has has on his children is so great that everything they do is affected by it. That is their reality. So also, my reality has been informed by my first 37 years with my father. It is so real that it seems unreal that he could be dead. This film shows the depth of damage that a parent can do, and thankfully, it also shows deep possibilities of redemption. SPOILER ALERT Everytime I watch this film, I am moved to tears by the one thing that Royal does which seals his reconciliation with his son Chaz. On Ethyl's wedding day, a Tennenbaum friend and drug addict Eli Cash (Owen Wilson) crashes his car into the Tenenbaum home. In the crash, Royal saves the lives of his grandsons, though the boys' dog is not so lucky. In the wake of the crash, as the firemen arrive on the scene, Royal purchases a new dog from the firemen to give to his grandsons. As he presents the dog to Chaz, Chaz is overcome with emotion. As he receives the gift, he thanks his father. Then, this exchange happens: "Your welcome." "I've had a rough year Dad." "I know you have Chazzy." This exchange between them is all Chaz needed. He needed his dad to recognize his pain and affirm him. As Royal passes away, Chaz brokered a new peace with his father.
All three of the Tenenbaum children's realities were informed by their father. His inability to relate to them caused many of their problems. But the depth of their problems did find a certain antedote in his acts in the film. My dad never saw this movie. I doubt he would have liked it all that much. But he would have appreciated what it had to say about the role fathers have in their children's lives. My dad was good to me. He loved and respected me, and I him. That reality is still with me. It is such a part of me that it seems completely unreal to be without him. As the Tennenbaums bury their father in the movie, there was a certain peace they had achieved. The acts of reconciliation of their father had rebuilt some horribly fractured relationships. Our parents inform so much about who we are. I am incredibly blessed to have had the father I did.
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