Ok, ok, so Joel's Dad dies and immediately he goes soft and has to get in touch with his feminine side. That may be true, but I can think of no movie that better shows the range of emotions that we as humans have than this one. Yes, it's a chick flick. Yes, some of the dialogue is too aware of it's own Southern folksiness. In spite of all of that, simply look at what is being depicted on the screen. I will issue a SPOILER ALERT here since I will be talking about some issues which happen toward the end of the movie.
When my father died late last month, I realized that one of the things I needed to do was revisit this movie, an old favorite in our house. Since one of the main sections of the movie deals with grief, I wanted to see what nuances would be there that I may not have caught before. Overall, the movie is able to show a varied tapestry of the human experience through showing the lives of 6 Louisiana women. There are so many small moments of humanity that make this movie special that it is hard to name them all. I will focus on two in the movie the resonated with me.
The movie opens with Annelle (Darryl Hannah) walking through the Louisiana town in which the film is set. She makes her way to Truvy's house, the local hairstylist (played by Dolly Parton). Truvy is a woman who has been married for quite awhile, has one son, and is dissatisfied with her husband Spud (Sam Shepherd). The hair salon is in a bustle due to a local wedding. Shelby (Julia Roberts) and her mother M'Lynn (Sally Field) come the Truvy's salon to have their hair done for Shelby's wedding. As Truvy leaves for the wedding after doing her business, she asks her husband to join her. He rejects the offer, and Truvy feels the distance between them grow wider. As the movie goes on, it is learned that Shelby is a diabetic, and when she has a baby, her health is compromised. In spite of a kidney transplant, the damage done to her body from the baby is too great, and she dies. All of the women who make up the main characters (including the comic relief duo of Ouiser and Clairee played, respectively, by Shirley MacCaine and Olympia Dukakis) gather around M'Lynn to mourn the loss of her daughter. The grief of the mother is depicted very effectively, but there is a smaller moment that resonated even more with me this time. As Truvy leaves to go to the funeral, she sees that her husband has put a tie on. He asks her permission to accompany her to the funeral. She is touched by the gesture, and he begins to ponder the loss. Particularly, he ponders the loss of Jackson (Shelby's husband), and he expresses that if something like that ever happened to him, he wouldn't know what to do. In this moment of loss for the town, there is some clarity of thought for those left behind. Spud realizes he loves his wife, and that he could lose her. That fact draws him closer to her. Death does that at times. It can draw people closer together who have been distant.
The other small moment occurs in the closing moments of the film. As Annelle has become pregnant, she shares with M'Lynn that she would like to name her baby after Shelby. M'Lynn replies to her that Shelby would have loved that, and that she would be tickled pink. M'Lynn then pauses and sighs to herself, "Pink..." The viewer knows that pink was Shelby's favorite color from the wedding scene at the beginning. The mention of the word pink brings a flood of memories about her daughter, and a pang of grief has come over her.
Why watch such sad films? For me, I find solace in other people. I like it when they acknowledge my situation, and when they can relate. At its very best, art is a way we can relate to others. This film has some hilarious moments in it, but I did not focus on them here. The emotional core of the movie is found near the end as these women (and men) are forced to deal with an untimely death. As we see their grief, their anger, their tears, and their laughter, it reminds us that death is a part of our experience on this earth. I believe it to be a symptom of the fallen nature of our world, but that doesn't make it any less real. We can grieve and be angry in death, just as Jesus wept violently over the body of his dear friend Lazarus. To be sure, since he knew he would raise him from the dead in mere moments, his tears show us something. Jesus hated death, and he wept over the reality of it. All the same, he rose Lazarus, and promises life to those who believe in him. This reality is a hope, but it doesn't take away the pain of death. This film shows that pain and puts it in the context of the seasons of life, the holidays of the year, and the coming of new life. In spite of some of the canned dialogue, what a tremendous contribution this movie makes to our emotional experience.
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